These Are Not The Giant Enemy Crabs You Are Looking For

Back at E3 2006, game producer Bill Ritch promised PS3 gamers that the upcoming Genji 2 would be a realistic hack and slash game featuring battles “…which actually took place in ancient Japan” (his words). He then went on to demonstrate a game featuring “giant enemy crabs” (his words again), with a weak spot that you could attack for “massive damage” (and again). Yes indeed, lots of classic anti-Sony internet memes were born that day.

But as popular games site Kotaku have now pointed out, perhaps it is Sony who will be having the last laugh. They refer to a BBC story which reports the find of a man-sized sea scorpion. The story goes on to say:

“The size of the beast suggests that spiders, insects, crabs* and similar creatures were much larger in the past than previously thought.”

(*Kotaku’s emphasis)

Which means that, in fact, there were giant crabs once upon a time - Sony were right all along! Of course, us at TTB all know that Giant Enemy Crabs are real, because like all very real things, they have their own Wikipedia page. The more you know, kids, the more you know…

It’s from Ghost In The Shell: Stand Alone Complex (why would you be reading this if you didn’t know that?), it’s made by Bandai, and it’ll soon be available in the US for $199. It moves, it talks, and it’s programmable using a USB-connected PC. I am, of course, talking about this totally awesome Tachikoma robot.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not one of those huge anime fans, but even I like a bit of Ghost In The Shell. I also happen to like robots, and wacky Japanese things, so this is right up my alley. You with me?

There’s a lovely big picture of it on US importer AudioCubes’s website here, but what I want to know is this: who’s going to make my year and start importing these into the UK?

A Funny Picture You Could Use. If You Have No Imagination.

So, if this site’s going to be big, we need avatars. Avatars, if you don’t already know, are the little pictures that show up next to people’s names in the comment boxes of all the cool kids’ websites. Our other project, Where Is The Station, has them, for instance. That’s not because we’re uber-clever or anything though - it’s because Wordpress.com blogs get them by default.

This site is based on Wordpress, but as it’s not hosted on Wordpress.com, I needed to sort out some kind of avatar plugin. To cut a long story short, I went with Gravatars, as they’re by far the most portable and popular system on thar interwebs, and they work across an increasing number of sites (like the truly awesome randomlinkage, for example). The avatar is linked to your email address.

So, go and sign up over at Gravatar.com, and then come back and make your comments. Sometimes there will be a delay before it appears, especially with new accounts, but rest assured that the system does work. I hope.

If it doesn’t, I’ll find another way of doing it…

Everyone by now should have heard of Blendtec and their highly innovative and hugely successful “Will It Blend” ad campaign. Essentially, they take household objects (and more often than not, the latest and greatest gadgets) and stick them in one of their super-awesome blenders to answer the question that’s always on every gadget lover’s lips… That being “will it blend?”, of course.

In this edition, Guitar Hero gets the blender treatment. We here at Team Teabag love us a bit o’ classic rock, and just lately, a lot of rockin’ out with the plastic axes of GHII and III, so the discovery of this video was a joy to behold. No, really, I think I actually did a little sex wee when I saw it. It’s just a shame they didn’t choose to blend one of those godawful wireless Les Paul controllers.

…Still, I guess they fall apart all on their own anyway.

Bonus: Watch all the way to the end to see their awesome little Hendrix tribute. Rawk!