Big In Japan: “Every Party” Is As Mad As A Badger – A Very, Very Mad One.

Back at the time of the Xbox 360 launch (well, shortly afterwards, actually), I decided that I just had to have one. I’d been a happy Xbox owner for a couple of years and knew that Microsoft were going to go on to bigger and better things. I also knew that I wanted the premium pack with the hard disk, but I didn’t have a great deal of money.

No matter, though, as Microsoft had failed to conquer Japan, and there were plenty of unloved brand new Japanese Xboxes floating around. I picked one up on eBay for about £50 less than a UK model – a wise decision in hindsight, as I’ve never had to pay more than £30 for a game (although I do generally have to wait 4 days for the postage from Japan), and it came with the spiffy little media remote.

It also means that I can play some Japanese games that the rest of the world can’t. Not RPGs or anything interesting, as I’m not really into them, but crazy stuff like Aquazone (an insanely detailed aquarium simulator), and one of my new favourite games, Every Party. I should probably point out at this moment that I do not speak or read any Japanese whatsoever, not that I think it would aid in my understanding of this game in any way, shape, or form anyway.

This Game Is Fairly Self-Explanatory. For A While.

So, from what I have gathered in the last 3 days playing it, the main meat of Every Party seems to be a giant board game, set on the surrealist streets of some imaginary Japanese cities. Players have spinners which decide how many turns they can take, and spinners with special characteristics (like being able to move other players around, win instantly for a steep price, or just have more chance of getting a particular number) can be collected.

Also, gold coins are picked up and traded for stuff in the game, and squares that are guarded by a cast of crazy characters can also be won, which can penalise other players for landing on them. I chuckle under my breath when I say penalise, as the squares do indeed look like a penis – albeit one with a happy face. Fortunately for you, dear reader, I can’t find a screenshot of it at this precise moment in time, but rest assured that I am still looking.

Anyway, every so often, sometimes related to another event and sometimes seemingly at random, a minigame will appear which has all of the players doing battle against each other for prizes. The minigames are really well thought-out and varied, much like the excellent WarioWare games but a little bit more complex, and a bit more insane. There’s also a multiplayer mode which allows up to four players to battle each other head-on in a succession of minigames, but you’ll want to unlock the more interesting ones in the main game first.

As a perfect example of the madness of this game and the sheer lack of understanding I have of it, I present to you the minigame pictured below. It features what appears to be a crazed paedophile in leopard-print hotpants, and some kind of bee helmet, chasing terrified children around his garden. If you survive to the end without getting caught, it’s revealed to you that his businessman neighbour was watching over the fence all along, smiling silently.

Don’t Let The Bad Man Catch You!

Along a similar theme, at certain parts of the game an old lady will appear and, depending on which option you choose, will either take you away or get arrested by the police. In fact, a lot of this game seems to feature adults doing bizarre things to children, which leaves me to ponder whether there isn’t something I’ve missed here.

Ahem.

Every Party also features Xbox Live functionality, although I’ll be buggered if I can work out how it’s supposed to work. It has lots of options and messages in Japanese and can never seem to connect to anything. Still, it looks, er, quite comprehensive, and I don’t know if I want to be playing against people who actually understand what’s going on anyway.

Digging through the game’s menus we discover a character customisation mode, and a shop where we can spend our in-game winnings. Also there are high score tables and some pictures of all the wacky characters we have met along the way – some of these can actually be used as players in the game. There’s also a single player story mode which is identical to the multiplayer mode, but with nonsensical cutscenes every so often which advance the, err, story.

In conclusion, this game is a lot of fun, even moreso as I don’t understand a single word of what’s going on. It’s easy to get into and has a lot of customisation and depth for a simple party game, and as I have proven, you don’t need to be a Japanese speaker to appreciate it. I’ll happily give it 7/10, and it would also be recipient of my personal “Game Of The Year” award if it weren’t for the existence of The Orange Box.

Every Party will have to take the “Crazy Random Japanese Game With Paedos In It Of The Year“ award, then. A very prestigious award indeed, as I’m sure you will agree.

(Screenshots via IGN.com)

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