I have a confession to make – I’m not a young girl. I am sure you’re wondering why I’m reviewing some games aimed at young girls and the answer is Christmas. It’s around this time of year that publishers go crazy over games aimed at the wider family market and I feel that parents could do with a little help in deciding which games to buy for their kids.

The first game I’ll look at is Love, Fashion & Friends. The game opens with a series of multiple choice questions to determine my elements, or something. Apparently I am 43% Air, 33% Water, 16% Fire, and only 8% Earth. Don’t worry, I haven’t got a clue what that means either, but it’s all very interesting. The verdict – “you want to discover the world in its diversity with your open-mindedness” as evident by the fact I am reviewing this game.

There is a Biorhythm section which gives me feedback on my “mental, emotional and physical state”. This appears to be based on absolutely nothing but for the sake of science I can tell you that, as far as my daily form is concerned, my emotional is falling, I’m in peak physical condition, and my mental is on the rise. The weekly form tells me that my emotional continues to fall and my mental hits rock bottom but my physical is on the rise. I reckon this means that by the end of the week I should have superhuman strength but I’ll be an emotional wreck with severe mental problems, good times ahead then.

The Horoscope section gives me a daily and weekly prediction on Sports, Hobby, Love, Friendship, School, and Creativity. As it happens my superhuman strength will come in handy because according to this I’ll be playing lots of sport in the next week which is news to me. Apparently being an emotional wreck and mentally unstable will benefit me over the next seven days as my friends rating shows an increase. When you click on the daily horoscope the avatar to the left will spout gibberish such as “My heart is a treasure trove” and “United we are strong” which makes her sound like a soppy Manchester United supporter.

There is a mini-game section with Dance, IQ Check, Tips, and multiple Psych tests. According to this game I have an IQ of 150 which in truth is a few points out but who’s counting? The Tips section is quite bizarre and offered advice on writing poetry with suggested topics such as “The Ghost in my Bath” and “How I took my Revenge on William”. I promise you I’m not making any of this up. I guess I took my revenge on William by drowning him in my Bathtub. Another poetry tip is to take note of witty words and sayings, for example “grandmother shouts ‘Cor Blimey’” except that I don’t have a living grandmother and if I did she still wouldn’t use that phrase as she wasn’t a chimney sweep from a Disney film.

I’m trying to figure out what this thing is but it sure as hell isn’t a game unless answering multiple choice questions is considered such and if so then school exam papers should be much more fun. Even if I ignore the fact that Horoscopes are a lot of nonsense and teaching young girls that they should feel depressed when their DS tells them to is damaging I still can’t recommend this title.

3/10 (for comedy value)

Other TTB Posts Like This One

• Review: Junior Brain Trainer (DS)
• Review: Runaway: The Dream of the Turtle (DS)
• Review: Golden Balls (DS)
• Review: My Little Baby (DS)
• Review: My Boyfriend (DS)