This is an absolute disgrace. “Closing down sale” my ass! Before anyone jumps on me for focussing on a sale rather than those who will lose their jobs – stop pretending you’re wonderful people and quit the pathetic attempt to out-care everyone else – quit the performance, I’ll mention the job-losses in good time.

You all heard the news last week – Woolworths started their “biggest ever sale” and it amounted to…well, not much actually, as a customer on BBC News pointed out, the store had a “buy two, get one free” deal quite recently. I know what some of you might be thinking, that 50% off must be better than that deal, and this would be true if not for the fact that they clearly never intended cutting the price of their stock by 50%. If you paid a visit to the store last week, not only would you find a tiny “up to” above the huge “50% OFF” on every sign, you would have discovered that in reality very few items were on such a discount with the vast majority of items at a 10-20% reduction.

Yesterday was the start of the proper sale though, the one they were holding back, and if you pay a visit to a store today you’ll find…pretty much exactly the same discount as last week. That’s right, at best, a few additional items have a less than incredible 10% discount, which shows this for what it really is – a SCAM!

It’s one huge circus of idiots. The previous owners of Woolworths are idiots because they let the brand fall into such a ridiculous state in the first place. They are also idiots because their bad management has had a knock-on effect for many other stores since Woolworths had their fingers in many pies including, but not restricted to, media distribution. You wonder why your local game stores, all of a sudden, have no copies of certain titles? Blame Woolworths.

BBC News continue to treat this as something wonderful – “people are piling in to take advantage of the bargains” – a bargain, in my book, is a good deal, and this isn’t one of those. Better yet, the reporters keep asking “what’s the mood of the staff?” as though their mood is the biggest issue here, I’ve got news for you, it’s not, a far bigger issue is a group of people successfully conning a bunch of weak-minded shoppers.

This leads me on to the second group of idiots, the shoppers, attracted to the stores today in the hope they’d discover a genuine closing down sale, who find out the truth and still wait around in long cues to purchase items they can find cheaper elsewhere. I wonder if this is the same group of people who love little more than wasting money by sending multiple texts to vote for the most recent gimp of the week on TV shows such as X-Factor and Big Brother. The worst part is that we must share an island with these unhinged individuals whom I believe are more dangerous than Bird Flu and the human strand of foot and mouth disease combined. We’re all doomed.

Now let’s have a look at the administrators, liquidators, or whatever you want to call them, I prefer to call them dirty lying scumbags. These are the people behind this scam, not the previous owners and not the storekeepers, although since the media have a duty to let people know what’s actually going on - they have also let us down in a big way. These people are also idiots as, while they are successfully misleading the customers and getting them through the doors, if they did the decent thing and had a half-price sale on all goods they’d clear out their stock in a number of days and be able to pay off most of the debts.

Now, last but not least, the 30,000 people who are in danger of losing their jobs. If you look around the Internet you’ll find that the general consensus is that it’s a tragedy. I’d like to take this moment to say that anyone who feels this way because they happen to know someone who works there, that’s fine, feel sorry for them, but if you don’t have a legitimate connection with “shop assistants” in Woolworths, shut your face! The truth is that people lose their jobs all the time, and it’s a shame, but at the same time this isn’t exactly a bunch of Doctors and Nurses we’re losing here.

If all this honesty is too harsh for your liking then perhaps you need to pull your head out of your ass once in a while. If you feel up to it I suggest that you write a long rant of your own, but make sure it’s all fluffy and sugar-coated, and hope that someone out there cares enough to read it. I’ll leave you with a comment I read on a forum last night – “I’d never have thought that a shop which has been around for 99 years would ever go out of business” – this is like saying “I never thought that a 99 year old person would ever die” – WE’RE ALL DOOMED!

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