Review: Tony Hawk’s Motion (DS)

Author: Tigervamp | Date: January 7, 2009

I’ve been a fan of the Tony Hawk series since his first incarnation on the Playstation and if you’re looking for a walk down memory lane then this might very well be the game for you, and by that I mean that this also has the horrible fuzzy graphics of yesteryear. I’m going to be honest with you – I’m having a hard time with this review as I’m struggling to come to terms with the fact that the whole package on offer here is so incredibly broken.

Right, I’ve already mentioned the graphics which are pretty terrible even by DS standards, and I must add that the sound isn’t exactly what I’d describe as pleasant either. But, this game is not being marketed on the strength of its graphics or its sound, not at all, your main focus with Tony Hawk’s Motion should be on something altogether more…futuristic. You know that motion detection thing that you get with the Wii-Mote and Sixaxis controller? Wouldn’t it be great if you could have that in your DS while playing a Tony Hawk’s game? – NO!

I sense the force is strong in you and something tells me that you’re ready for more details on this incredible addition to the series. In order to use the DS in this manner you must, of course, physically move it around, an example of which is turning it a full 360 degrees in order to perform a 360 in-game. This of course is fantastic, apart from the fact that it means you can’t see what’s happening on the screen unless you physically move in a circle with your DS which is clearly something to avoid. I don’t recommend this strange procedure as at best it will make you look and feel like a complete and utter tit and at worst it will result in you bumping into something and doing yourself an injury. This game is broken.

Skateboards are very much Tony’s thing but in this game you also get to go Snowboarding and, while I’m certain this is an activity which Tony enjoys, it does make me wonder what else is on the horizon – Tony Hawk’s Ice-Skating? Tony Hawk’s Tiddlywinks?
That’s not all folks! This also comes packaged with a bizarre game in which you play a paintbrush-man-thing. Here’s a quick description of what you do – you start the game, you wonder why anyone in their right mind would ever decide to couple this with a Tony Hawk’s game and, if you have any sense, you switch the thing off and never ever return to it.

I wonder what Tony Hawk thinks of this title. I wonder if he cares. I’m sure his endorsement still comes with a hefty price-tag so I’m pretty sure, deep down, he couldn’t care less. Then again, he does come across as a pretty decent guy. If his friendship with Bam Margera and the Jackass team is anything to go on he certainly seems up for a laugh. Perhaps someone should ask Tony if he finds anything funny about this game because I sure as hell don’t and I happen to think that something this bad should at least provide a few laughs!

2/10

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