“When their city is attacked by a giant robotic mouse, four cats have no choice but to do what they do best – save the world.” This is how the story begins and it just doesn’t make any sense. I know what you’re probably thinking right about now. This is a silly party game and we’re lucky that it even attempts to have some kind of story. That is true but also a little short-sighted. With the market dominated by party games developers must use any available technique, much more than with less saturated genres, in an attempt to stand out from the crowd. Ninja Captains, a title which also fails to make sense, is a game which gambles that a few cute characters and makeshift story will be enough to elevate it from mediocrity but this proves to be a less than valiant effort.

You select one Ninja cat from the four available and then it’s straight into the meat of this party pie. Mini-games. Twenty of them. The first mini-game requires you to control your chosen character and run up and down an aisle on an aeroplane. There are four ill humans on each aisle and you compete against the three other cats which are all computer controlled unless you happen to have at least one friend who enjoys playing mind-numbing mini-games. The aim is simple. You have a sick-bag and when one of the humans looks as though they’re about to throw up you run over to them, bash a button, and they will then vomit into your bag. You get points for doing this. Please help me. I don’t know why I am playing this game.

The second mini-game involves a shape which moves around and you must twist your wii-mote while following the shape to gain points by staying inside the boundaries. The third mini-game takes place on a bouncy castle but there’s a “no bouncing” sign and the aim is to be the last cat to give in and bounce. The fourth mini-game is in a burger joint and you have to race around finding mice and shoving them in burgers for the hungry customers. The fifth mini-game has you dressed as a duckling and you have a frying pan and the aim is to hit some golf balls into a basketball net. The sixth mini-game takes place in a room and the idea is to watch paint dry. I just made up every description after the second mini-game. The sad fact is that it doesn’t really matter. None of the mini-games make any sense and I certainly didn’t enjoy any of them.

I don’t like this game. If you only like two things and those happen to be cats and ninjas I still wouldn’t recommend this title and I’d instead point you in the direction of the Samurai Pizza Cats cartoon which is infinitely more entertaining than this title. Very young kids may find the Ninja cats with their silly faces entertainment enough but if you found yourself blind-folded and standing in front of a pile of mini-game titles if you reached in and pulled one out it would probably be better than Ninja Captains. I can’t even call this a rushed job as there doesn’t appear to have been any point to this other than an attempt to cash in on the recent inexplicable success of similar titles. Avoid.

2/10

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